It is often said that the only constant in life is change.
And while the change is very common , it is not always easy. I’ve tried a lot of changes in recent years. I changed jobs , moved to a new country and gave up almost everything that made me feel safe and secure ( with the exception of three things: my husband , my cat and my house ) . When you figure out what to do with all our stuff before we moved , my husband and I decided to keep our home as an investment property. We rented and liked the idea of someone paying the mortgage for us.
That is, until our tenant stopped paying rent.
What followed was nothing short of a nightmare full of angry phone calls , sleepless nights and legal documents. A few weeks ago, our tenant broke his lease and left us with an empty house in desperate need of some TLC. And, after much thought, we decided to sell the house – a change that they are not completely at ease with .
Throughout this process , I realized that I’m using my home as a security blanket . Why ? Why is the last thing that binds me to my old life . I have owned the house for seven years and I always thought that if things did not work out for me in Boston, I would move there. I got married while living there. I got my PhD while living there. I found out that my parents were splitting up while living there. I went with the death of my stepfather while he was living there. Jobs started , jobs stopped, started my own business , a step back from my work . In that house , hosted parties, had barbecue for friends , smile, laugh , plants and everything else. Now , the walls are dirty , the floors are ruined , there is graffiti in the garage and the yard is a pile of weeds. ( Time for some renos ! )
A part of me is crying, ” No, no, no, you can not take this ! This is your home . You belong here.”
Another part of me is fighting , ” let it go. ‘ Only a physical possession . You have a new life, a new place to stay. ”
But who am I without my old life ?
Here is another example . I had my belly button pierced when I was in my twenties . Then , I felt cool and rebellious. When I met my husband , he told me that it was not really into piercings or tattoos. So, as a compromise , I did my piercing, but I always kept . Well, a couple of weeks ago , somehow my drill made its way out of my navel and fell in the toilet at work. For a brief moment , panicking and actually considered to reach the bathroom to do it. Fortunately , my rational brain took over and emptied on it. The next morning, I looked at my belly in the shower, and I felt so strange . It felt like a part of me was gone, and I do not know if it’s a part of me that I’m going to replace. Interestingly , the day after I lost my piercing, I came across an article by one of my friends explaining how she feels that her piercings were in the direction of its flow of prana / energy. A sign , perhaps?
Yet, part of me feels like a snake , be forced to throw his skin before it is ready . Perhaps you feel the same way. Maybe your lover has left you , or you fucked off .
Any changes you’re going , here are some tools that are helping me to be .
1 . surrender and trust
When my mind gets bogged down in all the details around to sell my house , I try to make a conscious effort to stop , close your eyes, take a deep breath and did it. I need to believe that this is working for my highest good , even if I can not figure out exactly how . Sometimes when we are stuck in our old ways , universe, forcing the hand . In other words, make decisions for us and we did not have the courage to do it ourselves .
2 . possibility open
I know this is terribly cliché, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. And when I look rationally , selling my house opens up many possibilities for me. Will I be able to pay off my student loans and enjoy some financial comfort . They do not have to worry about keeping my property . This means that there is nothing binds me to my old town of physics, which means that I can choose to live anywhere . There may also be opportunities opening up for me that I’m not aware of yet. The point is to stay open to everything that is coming.
3 . Say
Another tool that has helped with my stress claims . Two that I’m using some of them are : “everything is always working for me,” Cheryl Richardson, and ” everything is fine Everything is working for my highest good out of this situation , it is only a good thing, and I’m sure .. ” of Louise Hay. Saying these words tend to shift my energy from panic relaxed.
I’m sure after all this is over , I’ll have a great story for you that shows exactly why I needed to sell my house and how it all worked out with perfect timing. Until then , I’m doing my best to be witnesses not to judge my experience. I’m using my discomfort as a tool that is teaching