Are you afraid of a real commitment to your relationship ? Use these 10 signs to know if you or a lover is experiencing a fear of commitment .
Are you afraid to commit ?
Get cold feet every time you find yourself getting addicted to someone or an employee ?
Or worse , to discover that there are meetings, but I hate to think about the future of a relationship, especially when it comes to marriage ?
Fear of commitment can ruin even the best relationships .
But yet , for most of us , it is inevitable and sometimes even unavoidable.
A new romance can blossom like a fairy tale , but only when you start to get serious and approaching a happy ending , panic !
And you begin to wonder if we are really ready to commit to something more serious .
What is the fear of commitment?
Fear of commitment has always been something of the boy, but in no way is a unique thing .
Women are less inclined to be afraid of making men .
But think about it, because most of us are so afraid of being involved in a serious relationship or take the next step toward marriage ?
To define it , the fear of commitment is the fear of getting into a long term relationship or fear of getting married.
But more often than not , most people are not really afraid of long-term relationships . The wedding petrifies them !
There is something sacred bond of marriage, and ” until death separates us “, which puts cold feet under our trunk and makes us question the longevity of the relationship.
The survival of your relationship and your commitment
If you are in a long term relationship that lasts at least a couple of years , it is obvious that the idea of the next phase of the marriage finally comes into his head.
But how do you feel about that? I turn ? Or frighten or annoy ?
If you feel any emotion , except for some form of happiness , When you want to marry her lover , you probably suffer from fear of commitment . It’s not a totally bad thing , but it certainly is not good.
You need to know this , everything in life is in stages and evolution. In order to survive , must evolve . If you stop growing , you stagnate. And it’s the same with relationships too .
Romance must evolve or one of you can get attracted to someone else.
Sexual intimacy must evolve or one of you may lose interest in sex with each other.
And so, a relationship must evolve too in marriage or any kind of commitment . If you start to stagnate , it is definitely a warning sign for your love life .
Why be afraid of commitment?
The reason behind the fear of commitment can be summed up in one sentence . If you do not want to change !
May be afraid of change , you can be sure of what might happen in the future , or it could be some other reason associated with the change . But it all comes down to this. If you do not want a new unpredictable change in your life, because you are afraid that you may not like the change.
But instead of addressing the real fear change , try 1 million reasons to justify why you should stay away from commitments . And without realizing it, they would start collecting defects and flaws in your partner just to stay away from commitments . But once you start collecting , you can never truly love or respect your partner as he once did. And that , my friend, is the ‘ beginning of the end of your relationship.
Admit it, for whatever reason it is, you’re afraid of commitment, because you’re not sure what might happen in the future. And that thought scares you !
If you need to overcome your fear of commitment , you have to learn to deal with fear. ‘Cause you’re really afraid of commitment ?
10 signs you’re afraid of commitment and are looking for excuses
Here are 10 common signs that he is afraid of commitment and are looking for excuses or reasons of chicken outside of marriage or a long term relationship . Do you find yourself using one of these 10 reasons ** apology?
# 1 single life. A single person. Scaring the thought of being with one person for the rest of your life? But it is not your lover deliverest you with someone else now , right? If you’re happy in the arms of your lover , because the ‘ idea of living with them for life scares you ?
# 2 the fear of the end of the report. No one can promise that you will have a happy ending. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed. But here is something you need to keep in mind , happiness and romantic happy endings are almost always in your hands.
# 3 the lack of sexual variety . The first time you have sex , it’s awesome ! But as the years pass , sex can start to get quite monotonous and predictable. But that would happen only if you allow your sex life to stagnate. Get nasty and wild , and your sex life will always remain high .
# 4 there is so much that you want to achieve . You can think of engagement or wedding you would like to hold back from achieving your goals or dreams. But there is a real reason behind the paranoia ? The commitment can affect your goals at times, but more often than not , it’s just an excuse. If you walk into a fork, never to make a choice and stick to it .
# 5 you are perfect as you are. This is a great excuse . You are in a happy relationship and everything is just dandy . So why would marry only to obey the rules of society? You’re definitely a good point.
But instead of looking at marriage as unnecessary rules established by the company , try to see as a moral commitment that you are doing for your lover . Nothing really changes with a verbal commitment , but the sign of the commitment shown your lover who truly love and respect them .
# 6 you have a plan . It has a five-year plan or a plan for ten years? Sometimes, we all long-term plans to achieve our goals in life. But the commitment can not kill , can it? If you really need to devote time and attention to something else, or if you need to travel , because it is part of the great plan , learn to communicate.
Talk to your lover and explain your plans so you can immerse their insecurities about the relationship. If you do not, you may end up losing only one day very soon your lover !
# 7 ultimatum . They received an ultimatum from your lover to commit ? Sometimes , giving an ultimatum is the worst thing to do in a relationship, because the ego and anger always creeps in. But if you are given a deadline to make a commitment not to get irritated by the ultimatum .
Ask yourself what you really want, swallow your ego and pride and make a decision. After all, most of the ultimatum given by the despair and pain, rather than with the intention of you angry.
# 8 bad memories . A bad case of the former and anguish that cheating can leave you paranoid about long-term relationships and promises of commitment . The past can hurt you , and persecute you , but that is not an excuse to stagnate in your new relationship or feel insecure about it.
Take small steps , one step at a time, until you feel confident and secure in your new lover. You would think that for whatever reason, for the commitment of the barn , but remember that you are hurting your lover and leaving them confused with your actions .
# 9 the lack of space . Space is the silent killer of romance. At first , lovers cling to each other and want to be with each other every second of every day . But over time, both lovers are beginning comes just a little ‘ . But still, no lover ever talks about because they do not want to hurt the feelings of their partners !
If you are afraid to commit because you feel that you lose your personal space , do not worry . As long as you both make the effort to give space to each other and grow as individuals , just a willingness to make more efforts both of you fall in love with each other and become better people at the same time .
# 10 is he / she the one ? ‘re Still not sure if this person is the one for you ? This is the worst place to be , and fear of commitment is fully justified. But you’re a selfish person .
If the ‘ only reason you keep from making a commitment is because you are not completely sure you want to be with this person, take a couple of days or a week and make up your mind . Never leave a person who loves hanging by a thread , because you’re too chicken to make a decision , or too selfish to worry about what happens to your lover after break and walk away.
Moving together – the alternative for the commitment of a coward?
These days , fans are going to live together all the time . But , statistically speaking , couples who move in together before getting married in order to break up very soon. It means living together before marriage is bad news for love? Absolutely not!
Other reasons why the live -in relationships fail is because couples do not really take seriously the report. Do not make commitments and just move in together because it seems like an easier alternative .
If you want your relationship to succeed, a commitment before moving along . After all , they move together should never be used as an excuse to avoid long-term commitments . Moving together should be considered as the next phase of the relationship and the phase before the wedding. Thinking in this way helps you understand how serious it is really moving!
Life is not all good and all evil
Are you afraid of commitment, and that all is well . Perhaps you’ve had your share of broken relationships or cheating lovers . But this does not mean that a new relationship can not have a happy ending.
Life is not all black and white . There is always a gray area where anything goes and what works for one will never work for another. Take a leap of faith and a chance. It ‘s true that our mind always remember the bad experiences and places more emphasis on it all the time.
And in all likelihood, you might as well forget the good experiences you’ve had over the years with your lover . But the most important thing , avoiding a commitment always lead to the end of your relationship. It ‘s almost always inevitable.
Communicate. Overcoming the fear .
If you really care about your lover , do not be selfish. If you really afraid of commitment , talking and your partner know what he has in mind. If something scares you for a long-term commitment , talk about it with your partner.
Communicate frankly it may seem awkward at first , but as long to explain your fears in a subtle way , without intentionally trying to hurt your lover, would certainly be more understanding of your fears and can also help to overcome these fears.
Remember, you can not stop life . May evolve or perish . If you believe that there is a relationship between a happy reunion and commitment that can last forever , well, you are wrong. It would lose the person you love too .